


Guilty pleasure

by imnotanironwall



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Masturbation, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 16:14:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13057557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotanironwall/pseuds/imnotanironwall
Summary: It was a simple infatuation, a fleeting lust. Still, he jerked off to his crush.





	Guilty pleasure

Shigure wasn’t the pure angel everyone thought he was. Of course, he was nice and kind, always trying to help others, he had a pure image to himself and people often viewed him as cute because he seemed shy and blushed when embarrassed. He didn’t join some of his friends when they went to sex shops or didn't want to touch their gravures and DVDs, but it didn't mean he was pure, didn't mean he was a virgin either - he simply wasn’t interested.

He never explained why he didn't want to accompany them, never said it clearly and he wouldn’t, not yet, Japan was still a too close-minded country for him to out himself.

Instead, when he wanted to go to a sex establishment or enjoy himself with good company, he would go in a certain district and approach people his type, people rather masculine and strong. He liked being manhandled. He also liked being the one leading the game, it always pleased him to make a mess out of other men, but be embraced and cherished and worshipped by strong arms felt wonderful.

However, those days, he had a harder time going there. Not because he wasn’t interested anymore, he still _needed_ to relieved himself, but not long ago he had met someone at his workplace and they had sympathized, had even become friends. He was a nice guy, funny, kind and exactly Shigure’s type.

Shigure didn't often fantasize about his friends, especially when he knew they didn't swing this way, but this guy happened to be attracted to men. The moment he learned his new friend - _crush_ , if he dared say so - could one day or another turn his eyes towards Shigure and look at him in _that_ way, all his resolutions flew out of the window.

He didn't do anything specific yet, a light shame lingering, but he had had some dreams and his bed was too messy at his awakening to act like they didn't happen. Even though, he was decided to stay quiet about his feelings. They were still recent and faint, nothing more than an infatuation, a lust that would go away soon enough. He wasn’t going to risk a new-found friendship over a few vague believings and hopes, emotions that would eventually fade away if not now, soon enough to be called a mistake.

At the moment, though, those feelings were strong enough that he couldn’t stop thinking about them, images and words filling his head. He was so immersed in those emotions, he couldn’t touch another man without feeling dirty and unfaithful, fake. He didn't enjoy being touched by a stranger as much as before.

Following his disturbing discoveries, Shigure acted quickly. Because he couldn’t touch someone else, for the time being, didn't mean his frustration had to build up until a mere gaze of his beloved made him melt on the spot and dirtied his pants.

 

 

He sat on his bed, legs shaking but still holding him up as he finally lowered his hips on the toy, his body flushed red after all this time playing with himself without really doing anything. At some point, it hadn’t been enough with his fingers only and he had needed something else. It wasn’t a small toy but it wasn’t _that_ big per se - he wasn’t much fond of having his organs rearranged every time he was entered. His new purchase was about a few inches and was all he had wanted, that is _perfect_.

His whole body tensed, his mouth tightened and he had to breathe through his nose, heavily, when he finally lowered himself entirely. He could feel it inside of him, grazing the good spots but not quite hitting right. It wasn’t hot, wasn’t twitching when he clenched, nothing, a small reminder he was alone and it wasn’t human - wouldn’t be enough because what he really needed was the warmth of an embrace, but it would do. He sighed shakingly and lift himself, squeezing the sheets between his fingers when he fell back and it finally made him feel good, wasn’t just a brush.

Shigure felt easily in a rhythm, faster than what he considered comfortable but he _craved_ release; his legs wouldn’t hold him up far longer either. His whole body was glowing with a faint layer of sweat and he was breathing hard. He groaned through gritted teeth when he couldn’t finish just with this, his dick almost pleading to be touch. His upper body fell against the mattress when one of his hand stopped holding him up to finally touch himself. He gripped it hard enough and jerked himself off. He exhaled, the touch so great he almost came just from this. Having his cock simply bouncing against the sheets along his thrust really hadn't been enough. 

He took a sharp breath and closed his eyes when, finally, _finally_ , he felt something coming. He pushed his upper body with his free arm but his head still fell as exhaustion took over his body, his forehead pressing against the bed. He could feel his own hot breath against his skin and it was like he wasn’t so alone for a moment, like he was properly embraced. He whimpered. The ghost feeling of a kiss, lips hot and moist, on his neck, and a whisper in his ear, his name pronounced in an intimate way. Gentle hands on his hips and chest, his own fingers replaced by rough and calloused ones.

His hips suddenly jerked upwards and into his hand as he imagined those arms he dreamt of holding him, the forbidden name leaving his lips in a last cry. His fingers felt sticky and the toy fell against his thigh, wet and _gross_. His face was flushed a dark red, small tears hanging at the corner of his eyes, the release like Heaven on Earth.

Then Shigure sighed and laid on his bed for a moment. He did feel a little guilty after all. He had done it, jerking off to his crush. He was a total goner now.

At least it had felt good.

**Author's Note:**

> It was supposed to be (My OC) My Unit/Shigure, but I preferred to make it about Shigure only in the end - so you can imagine whoever you want for Shigure's crush. I have no excuses, I love this boy and I hate that he is Corrin's nephew in the game so I can't marry him, so I needed to at least write this. 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/imnotanironwall) / [tumblr](http://badgunter.tumblr.com/)


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